when friendship turns into love..

Subject: when friendship turns into love.. Fri Aug 22, 2008 8:46 pm

I didn't want to depart my home town, which I've been settling ever since the
day I was born. Neither do I want to leave my school, relatives, and most importantly
my best friend Samuel.
Sam and I had been best friends since elementary school. I still recall the
day when we first met; it was the first day of grade 1 and we were in the same
class. Unintentionally I collided with his head trying to reach for my pencil
that had been knocked out on the floor. Fortunately I didn’t know that
he was trying to reach for it too. From that time on we got close, share lunch,
talk and became best friends. We’d hang around together as often as I’d
hang around with my family. He’s like my brother; a brother who I could
lean to when I have problems, a brother who’s always there for me when
I’m in trouble, a brother who loved me for me… at least as a sister.
What he didn’t know is that I am deeply in love with him ever since the
day we first met; which saddens me the most, assuming that he only thinks of
me as his sister.
In sixth grade, in spite of this, things changed. We had been together for
5 implausible years, but this year is diverse. I was moving. Moving far away
from him, it’s like a new world I’m getting myself into. My deep
profoundness love for him is still there and I don’t want to leave him.
We agreed to call each other at least twice a week, send letters and emails
if we have time, and stay in touch with each other. Except that, it wouldn’t
be the same, it wouldn’t be like old times, we wouldn’t see each
other except in pictures, we couldn’t do anything together now. We couldn’t
be there for each other, all the time anymore. Furthermore we are two continents
away from each other. And I wanted to confess. Tomorrow, I decided.
The day of the departure came but he was nowhere in sight. I tried calling
his cell but no one was answering it. I was so worried and sad that he forgot
about my departure. I left the country heartbroken and thinking that maybe he
had a good excuse why he didn’t go.
One year had passed and still no sign of him. I tried calling his home every
once in a while but his mother would always say, “Oh he’s not here,
but I’ll tell him you called!” and I would be so depressed. Sometimes
I just think that he’s been avoiding my calls. But why I wondered
I was going off to grade 9. I hadn’t been getting any emails or letters
from him; or hadn’t been getting any at all. I tried to tell myself that,
“Its okay Katherine, he’s just busy that’s all.” However
I had my doubts. What if he’s not busy at all? What if he forgot about
me? What if he got a girlfriend and been too busy to talk or even stay in touch
with me? A lot of what ifs’ are on my head. I tried emailing him and writing
letters but there was no reply. What if all my what ifs’ came true? Then
maybe I should be pleased, pleased for the reason that he’s happy. On
the contrary why didn’t he tell me?
2 years had passed and still no sign of his letters or emails or phone calls.
I tried to get over him. I really tried but I can’t. I just couldn’t
forget the fact that I love him.
One week later, I received a letter from his home address, accusing it was
him I ripped it open. I was so anxious to read his letter that I skipped a couple
of parts, that I thought wasn’t that important. Unfortunately, it is important.
It says that he’s sick and is in a coma. I was so shocked to see this
that I ran inside to tell my parents to get me a ticket back to see him. Luckily
they approved and booked me the latest flight.
I preceded to the hospital his in. I was so worried to see him, concerned that
he’s undergoing from a poor health. When I got in his room my heart raised
and kept thumping on my chest. I noticed him lying there with bandages all over
his body. I felt sorry for him. All this time I was blaming him of overlooking
me while his being diagnosed. I had a talk with his mom and she told me what
had happened to him. She assumed that he was crossing the street while he was
writing in a book and a truck had hit him. That book was sadly addressed to
me, it has no title its cover is blank. I opened it and started reading the
first page.
September 17, 200*
“This is the day I left.” I thought.
Katherine left today. I’m so upset to see her leave. That’s why
I didn’t go to the airport at all. But I tried to go realizing that I
had to confess my love for her before she leaves but I was too late. I’m
going to miss her so bad. All the good times we had will never be forgotten.
I wish I could come with her. I love her so very much.
My tears started falling. I admired him. I was in awe. He made a diary for
me starting with the day I left. And what mostly saddened me is the fact that
he loved me too. I scanned through pages and read the last page he had written
on.
March 26, 200*

I can’t wait for Kath to see what I had done for her. I hope she’ll
like it. I just miss her so bad. I wish she was here right now in my arms holding
me tight and wishing she wouldn’t be away anymo ---

And it was cut right there. I couldn’t imagine the scene how it happened.
I saw a glimpse of him again and a tear fell on my cheeks. I hold his hand so
tight. That time I had wished that I hadn’t left and be with him throughout
this tough time. There was this throb in my chest. I scanned again and all the
other pages are blank. A letter dropped when I was about to close it.
Dear Kath,

If you are done reading my diary I want you to fill out the other half of this
book. I miss you so bad, Kath. I’m sorry if I keep missing your calls
I was just too busy with work. Yeah, Kath I’m working now so I could surprise
you and go there and maybe finish my school there. I can’t wait to see
you soon. I’m also sorry that it took me 2 years to get this to you its
just that I didn’t know your address there and I had to look for your
relatives to tell me your address, and about the email thing I tried to email
you back but our computer is really messed up; I ought to get the fix sometime
so I could email you. I’m really sorry if you thought that I don’t
care about you, I do. I really do. I love you since the first day we met it’s
just that I was too scared to confess because it might ruin our friendship and
that I think that you only think of me as a brother. I love you Kath, I love
you with all my heart and I’m sacrificing everything just to be with you.
With Love,
Sam
By the time I was done reading his letter. I heard a beep it was coming from
him. I was stunned. I dropped the book and ran towards him and started calling
the nurse.
“Stay with me please, stay with me… don’t leave me please.
I can’t let you leave me. Please. I. Love. You.” I cried as the
tears fell. I was shaking. I didn’t want him to die. I didn’t want
him to leave me. I want him to be here by my side comforting me, and telling
me that it was all a joke. But it’s not a joke. It’s reality. He’s
dead and here I am living my life through pages in the diary. I filled the rest
of the book. I even started a new book since it couldn’t hold all my memories
and thoughts of him. And I will always remember him. How he had been a good
friend. How he helped me through bad times. How he loved me so much that I didn’t
want to let go. I will not forget him. He had been the best inspiration of my
life. He is the best of friend anyone could ever have. I will not forget him.
I love him.
“C’mon Kath, were going to be late for school!” Mark shouted
through our front door. Mark had been my friend since the day I first came to
his school. He had been a good friend, almost as good as Sam. He kind of reminds
me of Sam. Sometimes when I'm with Mark, I kind of think that Sam sent him to
guide me and to be with me just like he did for me when he was alive.oming!”
I shouted back. This is a fresh new start and a beginning of an ideal friendship.
Or so I thought.